Part 2: I’ve got a Million Excuses

My friend’s co-worker, and many like him, will use every excuse in the book to remain inactive which will lead inevitably to him becoming reactive.

Once the disease takes over, it is in control. That’s when most people go into survival mode and come around to doing what is right. Often, too late. Then the friend, family member or co-worker is left wondering how they could have done more, or worse, feeling guilty like it is their fault.

Here are a few statements that I have been told personally when I made suggestions.

• “Butt-out man, this is my problem, I’ll handle it.” A typical “man” comment. We’re always ready to ”fix” something.
• “I don’t believe in taking medicine.”
• “I can’t afford the medicine.”
• “It’s too far to the doctor’s office.”
• “The doctor’s just trying to get all my money.”
• “I hate needles.”
• “Using needles like that will leave tracks and make me look like a junkie.”

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Really, I was told that last one by a person with type 2 diabetes who refused to take insulin.

But with real friends, family and co-workers, they’re in this with us, step for step.

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Everybody cares. “They don’t accept excuses when it comes to our health. They want us around to help them enjoy this wonderful life.”

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Guess what I hear most often though, when I suggest seeing a specialist? And this one, I think, is supposed to shut me up. “I’ve got faith that God is gonna work it out, and send me the answer”

My first thought and comment is always the same. “You’re right, but maybe God sent you me, with my suggestion; the medicine that you won’t take, or the answer that you won’t listen to.”

So to wrap this article up, if there is a disease that we are dealing with personally, let’s not forget those around us who, although not ill, are just as involved.

Let’s honor our friends, family and even co-workers the benefit of listening to their suggestions and not shut them out.

After-all, they’re just saying . . . !!!

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See Part 1 How it Affects Our Loved Ones

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African Americans, Baby Boomers and Diabetes

Hey, how’s it going? Thanks for stopping by.

Has a good friend, family member or co-worker shut you out when they became desperately ill?

Today’s article will focus on a different aspect of diabetes, or any disease for that matter that we may contract. The affect on friends, family and loved ones.

When we are stricken with a serious disease it is natural to become inwardly focused, but what we sometimes fail to understand is, our illness, it affects everyone close to us. They are taking it as hard as we are in some cases.

We may crave solitude while trying to figure it out, thinking we are in it alone, but will it be at the expense of those who care for us?

Friends, family members and co-workers who want to help or understand, often don’t know how to deal with what we are going through.

Yeah, I know, sometimes we just want someone to listen and not give advice. But these people who have our back regardless of circumstances, can carry a heavy mental (and possibly physical) load when it comes to our well-being. They are trying to help.

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Case in point. A good friend mentioned to me this morning his concern for his friend and co-worker who has diabetes.

His co-worker’s condition seems to be worsening, but he is either in denial, or is unwilling to be pro-active in battling the disease.

My buddy last week made a good, healthful suggestion. He was just trying to help without being overbearing. He’s like that.

As they perused the menu he said, “Instead of fried chicken, butter soaked mashed potatoes with gravy and a soda for lunch, bro, let’s go get a salad.”

His suggestion was shot down. “Man, that bird-food ‘ain’t gonna fill me up.’”

And therein lies the challenges.

The wrong foods “‘ain’t gonna fill me up” with the right nutrition. “A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, and other places.” “What’s good to you, ain’t necessarily good for you.” “An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay, but a donut a day will supplement his pay.”

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See Part 2: I’ve got a Million Excuses

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Today I signed Oprah’s “No Phone Zone” pledge:

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And The Verdict Is?

I no longer have conflict. I’ve decided while writing this article that I will go back to Oprah.Com right now, and (Upgrade) to number 3.

“I will no longer make or take any calls and I won’t send or receive any texts, while driving.” Done!

So to all of my friends, family and others who will call or text while I’m driving . . . I say, “Leave a message at the sound of the beep and I will get back to you . . . I Promise . . . after I stop driving.”

Now I have a new dilemma. Since I care for you, my friends and family, and you all read my articles, here is my question.

Should I refuse to talk at length with you, if you are on a cell phone and driving, maybe transporting a loved one?

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“Yeah, I said it! And that’s what I thought you’d say. You know my feelings. Friends Let Friends Drive Safely. You need to be concentrating on driving. We’ll talk. When we’re not driving.

“Sooooo, What Are You Waiting For?”

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Go here to sign up for the No Phone Zone Pledge today. The life you save may be yours, or mine.

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Driving is serious business and it deserves our full attention. I read that our reaction time is 38% slower when we are using cellphones while driving.

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Hands-free or speaker, makes no difference. We’re still distracted and we’re still slow. Can we afford to take the chance that we won’t react in time?

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Below is the No Phone Zone Pledge. Go ahead, pick one. Then go to Oprah.Com . . . and roll with it.

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No Phone Zone Pledge

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• I pledge to make my car a No Phone Zone.

• Beginning right now,  I will do my part to help put an end to distracted driving by pledging the safest driving behavior I can commit to:
  

• I will not text while I am driving.

• I will not text while driving, and will use only hands-free calling if I need to speak on the phone while I am driving.

• I will not text or use my phone while I am driving. If I need to use my phone, I will pull over to the side of the road.

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See No Phone Zone Pledge Series
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“Good Health and Success are a Lifestyle . . . Live Well,”

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CK Dillon

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Http://CreateVitality.Com

Today I signed Oprah’s “No Phone Zone” pledge:
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“Home boy, I’m looking important!”

We all need to feel or “look” important at some time I guess, and I’m sure we’ve all faked the “important” call. You know the one. Point the index finger up and announce, “I’ve gotta get this.”

How important, really, was my last cell phone call, or text, while I was driving? It wasn’t worth endangering those around me by a long shot.

What Helped Make Up My Mind, to Change?

Here’s what happened yesterday, back to back.

I was standing on a street-corner waiting to cross and heard tires screeching. A cell-phone driver didn’t notice  traffic stopped in front of him and had to slam on the brakes.

Of the twelve cars that drove by me:

• Four people, 3 male and 1 female, were talking
  
• Couldn’t see anyone texting

Then as I drove home a woman in a pretty big SUV swerved, braked, corrected and drove on. All in front of me. She eventually pulled into the left lane to turn into the school’s driveway, and of course, she was on the phone. Hmmm.

On the highway, I noticed quite a few drivers engaged in conversation. Hmmmmmm.

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At home I seldom watch the news, but it was on as I passed through the family room. The first story was about a cell-phone-caused accident where two people died, but not the person who hit them while texting.

Again . . . Hmmmmmmm . . . Was that three strikes or four?

So now my challenge is, after much consideration while writing this article, should I “step up to the plate” and sign No Phone Zone Pledge Option 3? “No Calling or Texting While Driving . . . Period.”

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My Pro’s: Why I will sign it

• I don’t mind pulling off the road, where I won’t look as important, to talk
  

• People who need my immediate attention can leave a message
  

• I might save a life

• I prefer not to endanger others

My Con’s: Why I needed another option

• There may be an emergency

See Part 4 And The Verdict Is?
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See Part 2 No Phone Zone Pledge Option #2
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CK Dillon

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Today I signed Oprah’s “No Phone Zone” pledge:

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No Phone Zone Pledge, Option #2

I Signed the No Phone Zone Pledge option 2, where it reads; “I will not text while driving and will use only hands-free calling if I need to speak on the phone while I am driving.” I left myself a way out in case I just had to use the phone.

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My excuse was, “I may have an emergency or something.” “So not wanting to lie up front, to Oprah, you know what I mean, knowing I’d use the phone in case of an emergency . . . I didn’t go with number three.” (”italics” are comments made by cell-phone drivers)

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Why Didn’t I Just Go cold turkey with, No Calls or Texting at all, while driving? Many reasons, none of which are valid.

However, in the last two weeks I have not made one phone call while driving, and only accepted one call out of habit. Even then I remembered, answering that call was a no-no. It won’t happen again.

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Ahhhh, The Good Ole’ 70s

Look At Me, Man!

Initially cell phones and car phones were unaffordable to most of us. They were huge, heavy, inconvenient and fashionable. And you know, if you were there, we were into our fashion. Looking back, it was straight comedy the way we dressed but hey, we were having fun!

One summer day in ‘76 a partner from work drove up to my home, blocked the driveway, blew his horn and signaled for me to come out. As I walked up to his car, I noticed he was very animated, gesturing and talking loudly on a phone.

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?

First, it wasn’t a cell phone. It was a residential phone, cord and everything. Secondly, it was an AT & T Trimline phone . . . pink. Some of us remember those phones. Ma Bell’s contribution to the home fashion industry was to add multiple color choices. But my boy chose pink? C’mon man, if you’re reading this, you could have held out for another color. Black, beige or something!

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What the Heck?

He was a funny brother! I had to ask, “Man, what are you doing now? You’re always clowning.” His reasoning for having attached a Trimline phone to his console was revealing. His answer was simply, “Homeboy, I’m lookin’ important.”

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Click here for access to an in-depth chart of various state’s cell phone and text messaging bans.

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See Part 3 “Home boy, I’m looking important!”

See Part 1 Will You Sign It?

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Today I signed Oprah’s “No Phone Zone” pledge:

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What Took Me So Long?

I don’t have a clue why I hesitated, after-all it’s something I’ve thought about doing for a long time.

“Oprah ain’t the only one who thought of this,” I was told by a young lady in line at the store. “I’ve been thinking about stopping too.”

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Thinking isn’t Doing

For many years, friends, family and I, have debated the reasons why we feel it is imperative to:

• immediately make or accept a cell phone call while driving
  

• accept/read/write and send a text while driving

• conduct business on a cell phone while driving
  

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I readily admit I’ve:

• crossed center lines that make a racket
  
• veered into oncoming lanes, slightly…
  
• driven off the right side of the road, somewhat…
  

Knowing what I know now, I have been extremely lucky that I didn’t hurt anyone else or myself. I’d like to feel it’s because, “I’ve got skills,” but it’s not. It’s foolish of me to feel I’m that good of a driver. Reaction time is critical and any distraction can become deadly in an instant.

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Yeah, I’ll Participate in the “No Phone Zone” Pledge But . . .

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(”italics” below are comments made to me by cell-phone drivers)

The first time I heard about the pledge, I knew immediately that I’d participate in the idea of the program, but, “I’m not necessarily gonna sign up, you know, specifically and all, for the program.”

After all, “I don’t have to prove anything to anybody else. I’ll just stop talking and texting while driving.”

I was really going to Quit – quit,“ to paraphrase, “but I thought I would “bend the rules slightly to add what I thought should have been a fourth option.”

“Personally, I thought Oprah could have given us a fourth option, where we could keep driving under certain circumstances, like emergencies, but keeping it real, she’s Oprah and I’m not.”

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See: No Phone Zone Pledge Option #2

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Revenge? . . . Nah! Just Triumph!

I hadn’t taken the Prednisone a whole week before things were looking up. One month later at doc’s office, he told me his research showed Sarcoidosis may eventually go into remission, I’d just have to wait it out.

I had gained back the 35 pounds and then some. I was a bit overweight, plump even, and loving it.

Eighty milligrams of Prednisone a day causes that effect.

Doc asked, “Are you feeling pretty much normal now?” I said, “Not quite like my old self just yet doc, but I’ll take ‘new normal’ any day.” Doc was happy.

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My complexion was back, the crack rumors had ceased, I enjoyed the last laugh on the naysayers, some of whom would still occasionally avoid eye contact, when we met in the hall or the elevator.

Best of all the constant pain was gone and I was back in the gym.

I had found out who my real friends were, eliminated the fakes, and I was happy.

Her smile eased its way back onto my wife’s face and her worries vanished.

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We were Happy!

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Fast forward 15 years and even though I know it’s there lurking, I can’t realistically say I’ve experienced a serious symptom in over 12 years. I like to think it has been in remission.

Sarcoidosis is a serious disease that doesn’t discriminate.

About me

• I’m an African American male.
• I’ve had Sarcoidosis for fifteen years.
• Initially I was afraid, now I’m educated on the disease.
• I’m not lazy.
• I know who my real friends are.
• For this moment I thank God my Sarcoidosis is in remission.
• I feel like all African Americans should get tested for Sarcoidosis if they have any of the symptoms.

As they say in my part of the country, “I’ve been Blessed.” I’m one of the lucky Sarcoidosis survivors.

I hope if you, or anyone you know has the symptoms, you’ll join me in getting tested and having loved ones do the same. Sarcoidosis is a very serious disease, but with diligence and a little pro-activity, it can be managed and . . .

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That’s my story. Hope it helps.

See Living with Sarcoidosis Series 1 – 10

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The trip home was better

On the commute home that Saturday evening, I still had to deal with my emotions and other commuters.

One driver, an older woman, was driving erratically in my opinion, so I made a move to pass her, then changed my mind because we were coming up on the toll booth.

A highway-patrolman saw what I did and flashed the dreaded red lights. “I pulled you over for weaving on the bridge, we’re you having mechanical problems?”

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“Nah, I’m just tired.” I decided not to mention the woman. Traffic school taught me to not even attempt to blame other drivers for my misdeeds. “I work for (a utility company). They have been forcing us to work seven days a week, ten hours a day for the last month.”

He chuckled to himself like he’d heard it all before and wrote something down. “Please step out of the car. I need you to perform a few tests.”

The cold air and drizzle felt good, just what I needed to pep me up.

After I passed the drunk test, he said, “I’m going to let you go with a warning, to go home and,” (wait for it) . . . “get some sleep. You look like you need to get some rest.”

I thought about the waiting day-bed and said, “Thanks for that, and you can count on me knocking out as soon as I get home.”

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He continued, “I know what you mean about (utility company), my brother-in-law works there too. I almost took a job there myself, but changed my mind. He’s been stuck working overtime for weeks too. Sis is not feeling happy at all about it.” He chuckled again.

The rest of the weekend wasn’t a blur, it was all invested in much-needed sleep.

Then comes Monday. Back to work, more rumors and as it turned out, hope.

See Part 7. My illness Her Pain

See Part 9. There’s Hope Yet!

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There’s Hope Yet!

When things seemed out of control, my granddad was known to say, “There’s hope yet!”

On Monday morning my cell phone rang at about 10 am, during my commute. I like to think  I was in the Caldecott Tunnel, awake, when it rang, but in retrospect, that’s more likely me trying to make my story more dramatic.

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The caller was my respiratory specialist, who’d kind of

become a friend, and he sounded excited. He said, “Charles, I’ve got good news, bad news and good news. How soon can you be here, and which do you want to hear first?”

Swerving to take the exit, I said, “The bad news, I’d prefer to end this chat with good news.” “Ok,” he said, “here’s the bad news. There’s no cure for what you have . . .” Silence.

Surprisingly, my life did not flash before my eyes, so I said, “And the good news . . . ?”

“We’ve finally gotten a handle on what you’ve got. Your lung biopsy revealed that you have a rare disease called Sarcoidosis.” I could actually hear him smiling.

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“Say what? Leave it to me to get a rare disease that can’t be cured?”

But still hopeful, I said, “Alright Doc, what’s the other good news, this first piece does not fit with my plan to live past a hundred and ten.”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he said cheerfully. Doc knew my plan to be a hundred and ten was important to me. I promised myself when I was 6 that I’d live at least 110 years.

“I can’t promise you a hundred and ten, but I wouldn’t rule out ninety. We can get your Sarcoidosis under control with steroids.” More silence on his part, and now mine. I told you he was good.

I’m thinking, ” Sarcoidosis? Steroids?”

Ok, I was a pretty consistent weight lifter before the illness and Doc knew it. I was familiar with some of the horror stories about steroids . . .

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. . . and he must have read my mind because he said, “Not that kind of steroid Charles, so when can you get in here?”

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See Part 8. There’s Hope Yet

See 10 Revenge? . . . Nah! Just Triumph!

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That’s What Friends Are For

I took a detour before starting my commute home one night. I stopped by my best friend’s house for what began as a friendly game of pool, but soon turned into a “vent” session.

Once I shut the heck up, he looked up from the pool table, smiled at me and said, “Hey man, you and I both know you’re gonna beat this. “Yeah,” I said, “I know. Thanks.”

Then he said, “When it feels like everything is turning to s–t, and I’m sure you feel like that right now, remember dude, s–t makes flowers grow.” Then he sunk the eight ball, in the corner pocket. “S–t!”

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Thanks Eric, for hanging in there with me bro.

That’s when you know you’ve got a friend. They keep it real. They listen and don’t judge and they don’t dwell on the negative. A true friend has your back no matter what the circumstance.

They are the ones who pull for you every chance they get. Refuse to let you wallow in the muck of self-pity and “woe is me.”

Not like the, “it’s all about me,” fair-weather, so-called friends,” who are always willing to receive, but never manage to give.

Every day comes with its own challenges, health issues, financial woes, or whatever. It is always better to have someone to lean on, or if it’s your turn, be someone for them to lean on during those times.

See Part 5. Rumors Sprout Wings

See Part 7. My illness was her pain

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